Confusing offtopic bullshit.

[patisfat]

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

[patisfat]

Last night i was staring at the stars thinking... Where the F*** is my ceiling?

[Zarvon]

Never have I known a greater joy than that of a fresh pan of melted cheese. I stare at its great beauty, wondering why I must be deprived of the love of my great-grandmother's dogs. Though I fear them, I understand that their anger and hate is driven by nothing more than a terrifying need for world domination. As all small dogs must, they soon realize the horrifying truth: without opposable thumbs, and being about 6 inches tall, they are doomed to a future of chewing on apple trees. My melted cheese brings me solace from the hatred of dogs and disgruntled politicians. Some people believe politicians to be nothing more than humans seeking power over their fellow beef burgers. In fact, they are terrifying veggie burgers with a lust for the end of the world. We must remember that the lunch meats we elect to office want nothing more than to take our hamburgers. I steal a humburger. My melted cheese begins to feel jealousy towards my hamburger, and throws blobs of steaming dog turds at it. My baby burger keeps this from me, and continues to endure the melted cheese's abuse. When I find out, I stake my burger with an apple twig. I knew it would come to this. I always did, from the moment I put my burger in my sister's ez-bake oven. I steal a hamburger. All the politicians want is for us to never know the truth about burgers. Never know the recepie for combo pottery-and-feathers burgers with wood shavings on top. Never know the secret of the perfect amount of chalkboard dust to add to our buns. I steal a humburger. My parents, my sister, and my melted cheese have turned their backs on me. They believe my obsession to be insane. Tearfully, I throw a molotov cocktail made of barbaque sauce into the house and watch the delicious purple flames engulf my hard drive. Never again will I love a form of mold that has been melted. Never again! I steal a hamburger.

It is a veggie burger.

The politicians have won.

[Mr_Blobby]

Hmm. Well this escalated.

[greiko5]

"clap" "clap" "clap"

"Oh, good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that."

[Killgun]

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
-Lana Turner

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
-Albert Einstein

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
-Ron White

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
-Frank Sinatra

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topic ... funny.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[patisfat]

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
-Ron White

When life Gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave them wondering how the f*** you did it.
-Patisfat

[Zarvon]

Just wanna say that I actually came up with what I wrote up there. I sat down at my computer and tried to come up with the most random stuff I could.

[patisfat]

well i could just write my life story... but that would probably make the internet crash

[Cynthriel]

I think most cheese is disgusting by itself.
I hate grease, and cheese gives me headaches, like slimjims.








I love brie cheese though.